Jacey Bedford's Journal

There's a meme going round writers at the moment to recast the opening lines of your novel as poetry. I'm not sure any of these really work. The first one is the opening of 'The Winterwood Choice' currently with my agent.

The stuffy bedroom smelled
of sickness,
old lady, stale urine
and unwashed clothes,
poorly disguised
with attar of roses.

I'd never thought to stand
here again
in Plymouth,
in the house I'd once called home;
a house
with memories so bitter
that I'd scoured them from my mind
with salt water
and blood.

-o0o-

And Empire of Dust is just plain weird as poetry:

Cora
glanced into the tray
of delicate components
on the slowly moving belt
and thumbed the pad.
All present.
Tick.
Next one.
Yes.
Tick.
And again.
Tick.
She stifled
a yawn.

“Hey, Carlinni, I got one.”
On the other line
Bergman
punched the air
and grinned.

-o0o-

But Spider on the Web works slightly better, I think:

The Wavel Bell tolled
the death knell of a king.
It sounded
from high on the Gora
and echoed
across the city of Biela Miasto.

Hari Faron
felt the sound
in the back of his skull.
He leaped to his feet
clattered a flagon to the floor
swayed unsteadily and
flattened his large square hands
on the wet wooden tabletop
trying to sober up
between one breath
and the next.
And failing miserably.

-o0o-

But what do i know? i'm rubbish at poetry

Reading Elizabeth Chadwick's historical fiction is almost a guilty pleasure. You tend to know what you're going to get: a romance involving (mostly) genuine historical personages from the Plantagenet era. She has a style and it suits me well for those moments when I want something that's light reading with an air of authentic history. She seems to do her research well (not that I'm an expert). Though it seems she does also rely on the input of an Akashic consultant (the belief that each person leaves a trace record impressed on sub-atomic material and that certain people can tune in to it). Well if that's what floats her boat, who am I to argue? It does sound a bit wibbly-wobbly, but it leads to a good read. She also relies on actual research, which is much more to the point.

This is the story of Ida de Tosney, once the mistress of King Henry II, who was married off to Roger Bigod, heir to lands in East Anglia and in dispute with both the crown and his younger half-brothers over the title and revenues of the earldom of Norfolk (taken from the family after Roger's father rebelled against the King, though Roger himself took the King's side).

The condition of the marriage is that Ida must leave behind the son she bore Henry to be raised as a royal bastard, (eventually revealed as William Longespée, Earl of Salisbury), which, though she has other children with Roger, puts a strain on the marriage, as does the King's call on Roger's services as Roger (a lawyer, good administrator and shrewd economist) rises to be a Judge on the King's bench.

Roger was a contemporary of William Marshall, whose life is covered in Chadwick's books The Greatest Knight and The Scarlet Lion and it's good to see how the Bigods and the Marshalls intersect throughout their story and their children (Roger's son and William's daughter) marry and are the subject of another Chadwick book, as yet unread.

[Edited to remove feral apostrophe]

While some people might measure a move of Three Musketeers against the book, I'm afraid I measure it against the 1973  Dick Leicester version, seen in my formative years and loved for Ollie Reed. Richard Clamberlain, Christopher Lee and the wonderful Roy Kinnear, not to mention Spike Milligan and Raquel Welch. I missed the chicken fight, for instance.

I was a bit wary of a steampunked Three Musketeers, but it wasn't a steampunky as the posters and trailers made it out to be. Not steampunky at all, in fact, except for a rather weird weapon seen once at the beginning but never again, and airships, supposedly as designed by Leonardo da Vinci. Literally wooden ships with hot air ballons instead of sails. It was more of a caper movie at the beginning and did have an Indiana Jones moment, too, but that's OK.

A few logic bloopers, but let's get the worst tech one out of the way first. Buckingham (Orlando Bloom), here much more the villain than in the Michael York/Richard Chamberlain movie from the 1970s, arrives in France in an airship to visit the king and anchors it by tossing out a heavy anchor which holds his ship to the ground. Yes, this very same anchor which has been on board the ship all the way across the Channel is now too heavy to let it float away. Duh! It's the 'skateboarding elf'' moment (LOTR Helm's Deep) that yanks you out of an otherwise engaging yarn.  Yes, OK, there was Athos' diving helmet in the opening scene along with the above  noted strange weapon of mass distraction, but it was the opening scene and quickly over.

So, the story - pretty much as I remember it from the 1973 much-loved movie with added airships and Buckingham cast as the sneering baddie. Orlando Bloom seemed to be enjoying himself chewing the scenery. Athos, Porthos & Aramis were well cast - though Luke Evans as Aramis was sadly way too much like Orlando Bloom, physically. They could have swapped roles and you might not have noticed. Aramis and Porthos were also a little under-characterised, perhaps, but no surprise there. It's Hollywood, right? There was only room for Athos' angst over Milady (well played by Mila Jovovich).

Logan Lerman (Percy Jackson in PJ and the Lightning Thief) made a good D'Artagnan - very much a cocky teenager. Pity about the American accent. And speaking of accents Mads Mikkelsen's (Rochefort) accent was very strange. Sounded southern American at times, but I see that he's Danish. Oh, well. Nowhere near as scarey as Chrstopher Lee's Rochefort in the 1973 version.

Plot? The queen's jewels to be retrieved from England. Entirely as expected, leaving room for a sequel, of course.

Surprise? James Cordon made a very good Planchet. Not quite Roy Kinnear, but good all the same.

Verdict. Forgiveable fun. Worth a trip to the cinema. la_marquise_de_ may not agree with me on account of this being her favourite book, of clourse. Yes they took liberties, but it was still an entertaining afternoon out.